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Month: May 2009

summer films

Posted on May 6, 2009May 6, 2009 by Eric, your haikuist

I’m not usually a huge summer movie fan, but last year two of my favourite three movies were big-budget studio summer fare (Dark Knight and WALL-E for those keeping track at home, with My Winnipeg filling out the trifecta). So as the hype machine rolls into gear, I figured I’d better get psyched up for…

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Crank: High Voltage (2009)

Posted on May 6, 2009 by Eric, your haikuist

How’s this for a premise? Jason Statham falls about a mile from a helicopter and is literally shovelled off the asphalt by Chinese organ thieves who steal his heart for their 100-year-old boss (David Carradine). He wakes up to find he’s been fitted with an artificial heart, and proceeds to tear apart the Los Angeles…

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Troll 2 (1990)

Posted on May 1, 2009May 3, 2009 by Eric, your haikuist

So according to internet legend, Troll 2 was made with an American cast by an Italian director who barely spoke English and insisted the lines be read verbatim from his script. That maybe begins to explain this insane and insanely-bad film, but can’t fully account for the ludicrous acting, amateurish “monster” effects (burlap sacks and…

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