eric brochu

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• "The Office" (2001) 5/5

  2006-08-26 22:32

  

  Literally the funniest thing I've ever seen.

  Yurécuaro 2006-08-26
  0.3

• "Spaced" (1999) 5/5

  2006-09-03 21:34

  

  Completely brilliant Channel 4 series from the creative team that went on to make ethnocentrically Shaun of the Dead. Hilarious characters, non-stop movie and comics references, and a sountrack featuring everything from Boards of Canada to Fantastic Plastic Machine -- I'm amazed I managed to go so long without seeing it.

  2006-09-03
  0.3

• (500) Days of Summer (2009) 3.5/5

  2010-08-07 23:18

  

  2010-08-07
  0.3

• 2046 (2004) 2/5

  2007-03-22 15:36

  

  I really wanted to like this movie. I know a lot of people did, or claim to. It's beautifully shot and features various beautiful women in beautiful, chic dresses living in a beautifully shabby hotel in 1960s Hong Kong. It's a good-looking movie. But it lost me. It's just so taken up with its own elegant, oblique, art-house-romance view of the world, that I could never get past the artificiality of the characters and the story. The constant droning narration and pointless, ponderous sci-fi elements didn't help either. However, Christopher Doyle's gorgeous cinematography makes the movie worth watching, for a while, at least.

  2007-03-22
  0.3

• 28 Weeks Later (2007) 4/5

  2007-05-21 17:23

  

  28 Days Later has such a dramatic, powerful opening, that the rest of the movie seemed anticlimactic. This sequel has an opening that's almost as powerful, but doesn't sabotage the rest of the film. Despite a few "what was their plan?" type plot holes and impossibly good-looking zombie holocaust survivors, this is a smart, powerful horror-thriller that follows organically from the first movie and sets up the premise for a third film that I really, really want to see.

  2007-05-21
  0.3

• 300 (2006) 3.5/5

  2007-03-16 11:00

  

  Entertainingly stupid action movie, in which slave-owning Spartans fight for liberty and freedom against a ninja-powered Persian army. The movie has a pretty obvious message about saving Western Civilization from the Persian hordes, but really, it's much too stupid to take seriously. I mean, think about it: if you're taking issue with the movie's politics, you're really complaining about Frank Miller's worldview. Frank Miller. It's like arguing about foreign policy with a particularly bloodthirsty twelve-year-old.

  2007-03-16
  0.3

• 3:10 to Yuma (2007) 4/5

  2007-09-21 19:29

  

  I'm not sure why, but I went into this expecting a revisionist art-house Western in the vein of Unforgiven or The Proposition. Instead, it's a genuine old-fashioned Serious Western -- a psychological morality tale about the price of virtue, with a mixture of stark violence and bleak heroism. With excellent performances from Christian Bale in the subtle role, and Russell Crowe in the flashy one.

  2007-09-21
  0.3

• A Better Tomorrow (1986) 4.5/5

  2007-09-30 18:29

  

  The movie that launched the Hong Kong New Wave, and the international careers of John Woo and Chow Yun Fat. The stylish action scenes were so influential that they now seem a bit dated, and the melodrama is beyond over-the-top, as only John Woo can pull off. But it's impressive just how much skill and confidence there is on display in this film. As low-budget as it obviously is, it's obvious everybody knew they were onto something groundbreaking -- the cinema of the past twenty years would look very different without this film.

  2007-09-30
  0.3

• A Better Tomorrow II (1987) 3/5

  2007-09-30 20:50

  

  Ramps up the action, the melodrama and the sheer preposterousness of the first movie, frequently to an overbearing degree. The action scenes are spectacular, but the rest of the film takes frequent trips into insane soap-opera WTF?-land. Still entertaining, but John Woo and Chow Yun Fat would go on to do a couple of films that were a whole lot better. "If you have any dignity, apologize to the rice RIGHT NOW!"

  2007-09-30
  0.3

• A Colt is my Passport (1967) 3/5

  2008-08-04 19:21

  

  2008-08-04
  0.3

• A Serious Man (2009) 4.5/5

  2009-10-25 15:54

  

  in 1967, a mild-mannered physics professor starts to find his life unravelling by inches, but instead of complaining or giving in, he tries to understand God's plan by visiting three rabbis. Funny, cruel and infused with a bleak Jewish existentialism, even for a Coen brothers movie, this film has a lot to unpack. I need to see it at least once more to really decide what I think of it, but right now, I think it's kind of brilliant.

  2009-10-25
  0.3

• About Schmidt (2002) 2/5

  2007-09-09 10:53

  

  I have to say, I can enjoy slow, ponderous films quite a bit when they have something interesting to say. This one is mostly just boring, cliched, and, frankly pretty elitist -- this is a middle America populated entirely by one-dimensional characters we're supposed to chuckle knowingly at (look, he has a mullet! she talks in feel-good platitudes! heh). I guess it's good to see that Jack Nicholson can still not overact when he wants to, though here it just means he acts boring -- pretty much any decent actor his age could have done what he did with the role.

  2007-09-09
  0.3

• Ace in the Hole (1951) 4/5

  2009-02-15 13:35

  

  It amazes me just how modern Billy Wilder's movies seem. While most of Hollywood was mired in turgid melodramas, good-guy/bad-guy westerns and musicals -- few of which have aged very well -- Wilder's unsentimental dissection of sensationalist journalism is so sharp and nuanced that it could have served as the template of season 5 of The Wire. In fact, maybe it should have.

  2009-02-15
  0.3

• Addams Family Values (1993) 2.5/5

  2007-08-26 20:59

  

  The first Addams Family movie suffers for trying (and failing) to emulate the TV show. The second one mostly forgets the TV series altogether and goes for the macabre, black-humoured gags of the original New Yorker cartoons by Chas Addams. It's still not very good (the main storyline about a murderous nanny marrying Fester for his money is a bore), but there are a lot more dark chuckles to be had.

  2007-08-26
  0.3

• Adventureland (2009) 3.5/5

  2009-04-14 21:58

  

  2009-04-14
  0.3

• All About Eve (1950) 4/5

  2008-02-16 20:25

  

  This film came out the same year as Sunset Blvd -- one of my very favourite films -- and deals with similar themes: the dark side of the Hollywood dream. And while both films have stellar writing, this one hasn't aged nearly as well -- in fact, it sometimes seems quaint by comparison. (A Hollywood where middle-aged actresses take all the plum roles from dewy ingenues? Not even in 1950.) But it does have a young, funny, and very lickable Marilyn Monroe in a supporting role. So there's that.

  2008-02-16
  0.3

• American Gangster (2007) 3/5

  2008-05-07 19:10

  

  2008-05-07
  0.3

• Animal Kingdom (2010) 3.5/5

  2010-08-29 10:58

  

  2010-08-29
  0.3

• Apocalypto (2006) 3/5

  2008-01-20 19:39

  

  An odd film, in an odd key. Clearly conceived as a straight-up action-adventure yarn, and it delivers on that front with spectacular chase and fight scenes. But it is also clearly fascinated by its own setting -- the declining Mayan empire -- with long scenes of family life, the Mayan economy and the details of life in the jungle. Unfortunately, fascination doesn't equal insight, and in the end, we get an interesting, but off-balance actioner that can't quite hold up under the weight of its ambitions.

  2008-01-20
  0.3

• Atonement (2007) 3.5/5

  2008-03-07 19:44

  

  2008-03-07
  0.3

• Australia (2008) 2/5

  2009-01-11 04:24

  

  My girlfriend is Australian, which kind of obligates me to see this. It actually starts out not too bad, with a campy, over-the-top half hour of outback heroes and moustache-twirling villains. But then the earnestness sets in, and it becomes an endless slog which leaves you waiting for the Japanese to show up so that Darwin can get blowed up and the damn thing can finally end. (And for the record, Janelle liked it only slightly more than me, and only because she likes Nicole Kidman slightly more than me.)

  2009-01-11
  0.3

• Avatar (2009) 2.5/5

  2009-12-27 17:15

  

  Just finished Avatar. Graphics rocked, awesome level design, but the cut scenes were pretty tedious. Still, kept me involved until the fight with the final boss. Wait... what? We were watching a movie!?

  2009-12-27
  0.3

• Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Call New Orleans (2009) 4/5

  2009-12-27 16:43

  

  With only the barest resemblance to the original Bad Lieutenant, this oddball blacker-than-black comedy about the "bliss of evil" might as well have been called Werner Herzog's Grand Theft Auto III, with Nic Cage channelling Klaus Kinsky impersonating Ray Liotta playing Tommy Vercetti.

  2009-12-27
  0.3

• Bamboozled (2000) 1/5

  2008-04-13 13:45

  

  2008-04-13
  0.3

• Bangkok Dangerous (1999) 2.5/5

  2008-04-05 11:35

  

  2008-04-05
  0.3

• Battle Royale (2000) 3.5/5

  2007-09-02 00:55

  

  Truly the blackest of black comedies. In near-future Japan, the government forces a class of 14-year-olds to fight to the death. The result is a kind of hyper-adolescence where every clique is a gang, every friendship an alliance, and every teenaged crush literally becomes life-and-death. As a boy in WWII, director Kinji Fukasaku survived an artillery attack that killed his classmates, and it's clear he used the movie to work through some issues: the movie is a lot more personal than your typical Japanese exploitation flick, and really is a pretty brilliant (if deeply flawed) piece of work.

  2007-09-02
  0.3

• Be Kind Rewind (2008) 3/5

  2008-03-02 11:39

  

  2008-03-02
  0.3

• Being John Malkovich (1999) 4.5/5

  2007-04-16 15:49

  

  Wacky doesn't even begin to describe this movie about a secret door that leads inside John Malkovich's brain. What appeals to me is not only how original the premise of the film is, but that it just keep piling more and more brilliant inventive material on.

  2007-04-16
  0.3

• Bigger Stronger Faster* (2008) 4/5

  2009-10-10 21:33

  

  2009-10-10
  0.3

• Black Snake Moan (2006) 4/5

  2007-03-22 15:21

  

  On a farm in Tennessee, God-fearing bluesman Sam Jackson chains nympomaniac Christina Ricci to his radiator. But it's for her own good. Really! The whole thing is kind of preposterous, but it sure wasn't boring or predictable.

  2007-03-22
  0.3

• Blinkende lygter (2000) 2.5/5

  2007-05-02 21:49

  

  Flickering Lights. This Danish pastiche of US indie films isn't going to win any awards for originality, but as wacky gangster comedy psychodramas go, it's fairly entertaining, even if it doesn't really add up to much in the end. Though there are a couple of bits of "wacky" xenophobia that leave a sour taste behind when it's over.

  2007-05-02
  0.3

• Blood Freak (1972) 1/5

  2009-10-10 21:33

  

  2009-10-10
  0.3

• Body of Lies (2008) 3.5/5

  2008-10-29 21:12

  

  Terrible title notwithstanding, this is Ridley Scott's best films in years. Set in the middle of the war on terror, I was somewhat afraid it would be didactic, but it's really more of a straight-up political thriller with slight pretensions of contemporary relevance. Which is just how I like my political thrillers, actually. Leonardo DiCaprio and Russell Crowe turn in strong performances, but are blown away by Mark Strong as the charismatic and frightening head of Jordanian intelligence. Not a masterpiece, but definitely worth seeing.

  2008-10-29
  0.3

• Bombay (1995) 4/5

  2008-02-24 16:37

  

  2008-02-24
  0.3

• Boogie Nights (1997) 4/5

  2010-10-24 23:20

  

  I swear to God, you could place Boogie Nights right on top of Goodfellas and they would line up perfectly. I'm not sure this is a bad thing.

  2010-10-24
  0.3

• Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit... 4.5/5

  2006-11-19 15:00

  

  Laughed 'til I peed and peed 'til I laughed! (Just checking to see if anybody's actually reading this. Hi, mom!)

  2006-11-19
  0.3

• Brüno 3/5

  2009-07-31 20:41

  

  What I liked about the Bruno character in Da Ali G Show were the segments that allowed Sasha Baron-Cohen to use his shallowness to make the arrogant and clueless confortable enough to expose their own vapidity. But instead of going that direction, the Bruno movie uses the character much more for shock value and confrontation. Problem is, Borat already did that, and did it a lot better. Bruno is funny -- sometimes very funny -- but it feels like a missed opportunity.

  2009-07-31
  0.3

• Breach (2007) 3/5

  2007-09-09 10:41

  

  Interesting little film, based on the real case of an FBI mole. Chris Cooper completely dominates the film with his entertaining portrayal of the mole Robert Hanssen as a prickly devout Catholic, but we never actually get his point of view -- it's all from the point of view of the agents building the case against him. At the end of the film, I had no idea why or how Robert Hanssen would come to be "the worst spy in history", and I didn't feel anyone involved with the film (including Chris Cooper) did, either.

  2007-09-09
  0.3

• Bringing Up Baby (1938) 4.5/5

  2006-10-28 12:00

  

  Now that is what I'm talking about! 101 minutes of breakneck entertainment with Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn bein' all young and funny and adorable. Typical 1930s style, it's very stagey, but somehow it works.

  2006-10-28
  0.3

• Burn After Reading (2008) 3.5/5

  2008-10-05 11:41

  

  The Coen brothers have such an amazingly strong track record that it's hard not to feel a little disappointed when a new film is less than a masterpiece. Burn After Reading is less than a masterpiece, but it's more than just an average comedy, and totally entertaining.

  2008-10-05
  0.3

• C.H.U.D. (1984) 3/5

  2006-07-31 23:52

  

  The eponymous Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers are feasting on the good people of Reagan-era NYC! Not remotely what you would call a "good" movie, the darn thing just tries so hard it ends up being a lot more entertaining than it should be.

  2006-07-31
  0.3

• Cars (2006) 2.5/5

  2007-06-02 11:03

  

  The Incredibles is a brilliant film, and an impossible act to follow, no question. And that just makes Cars still feel even more like an artistic misstep for Pixar -- a bland, safe, kid-friendly cash-machine, complete with fart jokes and characters that look like they were designed as happy meals toys first. It's frustrating not because it's bad, but because you know everyone involved can do better.

  2007-06-02
  0.3

• Casino Royale (2006) 3/5

  2007-04-09 13:42

  

  James Bond as female abuse-victim fantasy. He's a rich but brutal and manipulative bad boy sociopath, who really, is just waiting for the one woman who can break through his armour and tell him what a good person he is, at which point he will become sweet and sensitive and completely change himself for her. As long as she doesn't step out of line -- but at that point it's really her own fault for making him hurt her, and she damn well knows it. Unfortunately, the "she" is the painfully dull Eva Green, whose flat line delivery literally made me cringe. But at least it's a competent action movie, which is a damn sight more than you can say about almost all the other Bond flicks.

  2007-04-09
  0.3

• Children of Men (2006) 4/5

  2007-01-28 16:05

  

  If ever you wanted an example of how directing can save a mediocre screenplay this is it. The story and dialogue are uneven, but the film is made with so much passion and anger that it imprinted itself firmly onto my imagination.

  2007-01-28
  0.3

• Chungking Express (1994) 4.5/5

  2007-04-02 12:39

  

  Chungking Express. After the disappointingly stuffy and ponderous 2046, I needed to watch this movie again to remind myself why I used to like Wong Kar Wai. And it's all still here -- it's amazingly full of life and vivid characters and atmosphere, and here, WKW is working with Christopher Doyle's breathtaking cinematography, instead of making it do all the heavy lifting. However, this time around, I could see all the seeds of what I've come to dislike about WKW's more recent work -- there's a certain self-importance behind the playfulness, and a literary fascination with the internal states and histories of the characters. These things might make for a good novelist, but they don't bode well for a truly cinematic filmmaker.

  2007-04-02
  0.3

• Clash of the Titans (1981) 2.5/5

  2008-11-08 16:50

  

  I love, love stop motion, especially Ray Harryahausen, and the effect here are probably some of his best. However, there is a point at which the film around the effects becomes slick and/or dull enough that stop-motion, no matter how good, can't keep up. Clash is just on the wrong side of that boundary -- it's simply impossible for me to believe in the creatures here in the way I could in the less-slick but more-compelling Jason and the Argonauts, say.

  2008-11-08
  0.3

• Clerks II (2006) 4.5/5

  2006-07-30 23:56

  

  I loved this movie! It's funny and nasty and smart and heartfelt and possibly Kevin Smith's best film yet. I hope we'll be revisting Dante and Randal again in another ten years.

  2006-07-30
  0.3

• Cloverfield (2008) 3/5

  2009-06-21 18:01

  

  So on the one hand, I really hate movies that expect you to care what happens to a bunch of boring yuppie douchebags just because they're cool and pretty and have nice clothes. On the other, giant monsters destroying major cities is undeniably cool. (Just try to deny it -- can't be done.) The fact that said giant monster kills said douchebags is what makes this passable entertainment. That, and the scene where the dbags are standing around in the street filming the monster while a fat dude does the smart thing and hauls ass in the other direction.

  2009-06-21
  0.3

• Colossus: The Forbin Project (1970) 3.5/5

  2009-10-20 20:52

  

  At the height of the cold war, the US builds the ultimate supercomputer and puts it in charge of the nation's nuclear arsenal. What could possibly go wrong? This really isn't a great movie, but it has a lot going for it. It's got great 70s art direction, Edith Head doing the costumes and lots of loving shots of state-of-the art tape drives and orange monochrome terminals. It also has a pretty great way of dealing with the fact that most of the movie involves people interacting with a computer -- the computer action is set in a great ultra-70s-modern control room, which allows for appropriately imposing hardware and room for the human characters to yell and run as necessary. It also has a satirical bite, and a classic downer ending. Unfortunately, it never rises above the typical (lazy) Hollywood anti-science, isn't-logic-heartless sci-fi tropes, always a pet peeve of mine.

  2009-10-20
  0.3

• Con Air (1997) 4/5

  2008-12-21 17:49

  

  I hadn't seen this movie since it was in theatres, and I forgot just what a glorious masterpiece of stupidity it is! There is not a single line that isn't grandiose or a performance that isn't over-the-top, and there's not a hint of subtlety in sight. With a cast including Nick Cage, Steve Buscemi, John Cusack and John Malkovich, who all competing in some kind of secret scenery-chewing contest, the whole thing is excessive and gratuitous, and so cheerfully idiotic, it can't help but be entertaining.

  2008-12-21
  0.3

• Constantine (2005) 3/5

  2010-10-23 18:43

  

  You know, if you ignore the comics the movie is based on and pretend that Keanu is playing a two-fisted exorcist anti-hero who happens to be named John Constantine, it's really not too bad a film. Some good set-pieces, well-cast supporting roles (especially Tilda Swinton as the angel Gabriel) and a nice gothic-pulp look. However, if you look at it like Hollywood's once chance to adapt everything that is awesome in Hellblazer, it's a crushing disappointment.

  2010-10-23
  0.3

• Control (2007) 2.5/5

  2009-10-10 21:33

  

  2009-10-10
  0.3

• Coraline (2009) 3.5/5

  2009-02-16 13:11

  

  2009-02-16
  0.3

• Crank (2006) 3.5/5

  2009-10-20 20:44

  

  Hitman Jason Statham is injected with a deadly poison, and only adrenaline can slow it down. But only enough to buy him the time he needs to get revenge and/or a cure. Not quite the demented masterpiece of its sequel (Crank: High Voltage), but still a loopy and highly entertaining action film.

  2009-10-20
  0.3

• Crank: High Voltage (2009) 4/5

  2009-05-06 05:54

  

  2009-05-06
  0.3

• Curse of the Aztec Mummy (1957) 2.5/5

  2007-07-27 23:11

  

  (Thanks to Blim's Evil Film School for screening this "classic" piece of luchadore insanity!) El Ángel is a silver-masked Mexican wrestling superhero, who single-handedly takes on rubber snakes, a portly middle-aged scientist and some inept goons, with the eponymous Aztec mummy mostly around to bat clean-up in the last five minutes of the film. El Ángel wears a mean cape, bounds up stairs three at a time, and wrestles like Esau himself, but somehow manages to repeatedly get captured and forced into the world's lamest death traps. (Escape from one involves rolling his head a few inches to the right, and another requires him to phone a small boy to come over and poke him with a stick while he dangles from a light fixture.) It's all inane, inept and totally entertaining.

  2007-07-27
  0.3

• Dawn of the Dead (1978) 5/5

  2007-04-09 13:35

  

  The ultimate zombie movie. It's not slick, but it's powerful. At some point, I have to pull together all my ideas about why zombie movies appeal to me, and this movie is the key. It's also probably the only zombie movie that's a great movie, period. Except possibly Shaun of the Dead.

  2007-04-09
  0.3

• Days of Being Wild (1991) 2.5/5

  2007-08-20 09:43

  

  I used to think I liked Wong Kar Wai movies. More recently, though, I've come to the conclusion that what I really like is his cinematographer Christopher Doyle, and his leading lady, Maggie Cheung. These are the ones doing all the emotional heavy lifting, not the ponderous, humourless WKW. Not that Wong is a bad director or writer (except when he is, like in 2046), but he's really a one-trick pony: as soon he steps outside his "sensitive bad boys and the jealous women who love them" safe zone (as he does with the ending of this film), it's obvious he has no idea what to do. If he hadn't hooked up with Maggie and Chris early on, I doubt anybody outside a few Hong Kong aficionados would know his name. Also, is it overly cynical of me to speculate that WKW really makes these movies just to get laid? Because I always think that while I'm watching his films, even the ones I like.

  2007-08-20
  0.3

• Death Bed: The Bed That Eats (1977) 2/5

  2009-04-15 23:37

  

  2009-04-15
  0.3

• Death Wish (1974) 2.5/5

  2007-06-24 16:40

  

  Or, "Un justicier dans la ville" in French, which is an awesome name that maybe could have been used for Deathwish 2: Vigilante in the City. Actually, given its crypto-fascist reputation, it is a surprisingly entertaining and effective piece of entertainment, and actually has non-trivial things to say about law and lawlessness. In a way, I think its the ambiguity of the film's attitude that has led to its reputation -- all those westerns about good-guy gunfighters coming into town and killing the bad guys draw far less criticism simply because they depict vigilante justice as an unabashed and unquestionable good. Not that Death Wish as all that complex: all the muggers Charles Bronson kills are clearly bad guys. Though none of them are despicable as the rape-and-murder gang that sets him off in the first place (and whom, interestingly, he never comes close to tracking down or punishing).

  2007-06-24
  0.3

• Deliverance (1972) 3.5/5

  2008-03-16 11:30

  

  2008-03-16
  0.3

• Devdas (2002) 3/5

  2008-04-22 21:56

  

  2008-04-22
  0.3

• DiG! (2004) 4/5

  2007-08-30 10:27

  

  A documentary famously made over a seven-year period, starting with The Dandy Warhols and their friends/rivals The Brian Jonestown Massacre as they both seem poised for success. We see the Dandys go from wannabes to genuine rock stars (at least in Europe), while the BJM under the increasingly addicted and self-destructive genius (or is he?) Anton Newcombe go straight from up-and-coming to burnt out without ever passing through success.

  2007-08-30
  0.3

• District 9 (2009) 4/5

  2009-08-31 13:36

  

  2009-08-31
  0.3

• District B13 (2004) 2.5/5

  2010-10-24 23:36

  

  So in District B13, the Paris of 2010 is overrun with murderous politicians, walled suburbs, and gangs armed with parkour and military-grade hardware. Meanwhile, the real Paris of 2010 is overrun with striking workers protesting a slight increase in the retirement age. That's not even close, District B13. Not even close.

  2010-10-24
  0.3

• Drag Me To Hell (2009) 3/5

  2009-10-25 16:13

  

  Sam Raimi isn't the most subtle of directors, but he sure can direct a scene. Thing was, after the truly embarrassing Spider-Man 3, I was starting to have serious doubts about his ability to direct a movie. Fortunately, there's no real doubt that Drag Me To Hell is pretty well-done, even though the over-the-top teen horror movie isn't a genre I'm especially fond of.

  2009-10-25
  0.3

• Drunken Master (1978) 3.5/5

  2007-09-21 19:33

  

  Early, awesome Jackie Chan movie directed by Yuen Woo-Ping. The entire movie is alternating fights and comedy set pieces with barely a moment to break them up. While not nearly as brilliant as Drunken Master II, this is still the rare old-school kung fu flick that really delivers.

  2007-09-21
  0.3

• Duck Soup (1933) 4.5/5

  2007-06-15 23:23

  

  My intellectual hero, Pauline Kael, once said that the Marx brothers were never in a movie as wonderful as they were. But Duck Soup! So. Very. Fucking. Close! A lot of it, I think, is that this is the film that best serves as a scaffold for the brothers to be themselves, without all the romantic subplots and vibrato-heavy musical numbers. Groucho gets to be the ultimate wise-ass, insulting and charming Margaret Dumont in the same sentence. Harpo gets to be an asshole. Chico gets to mangle the English language and confuse various pompous straight men. And Zeppo gets to not sing.

  2007-06-15
  0.3

• Duck, You Sucker! (1971) 2/5

  2010-10-23 18:48

  

  There seems to be an attempt to re-evaluate Sergio Leone's last western as, well, not a lost masterpiece, exactly, but an unfairly forgotten work, at least. But with all due respect, its not. I admire the intent -- a scathing critique of both revolutionaries and their targets, but the pacing is too languid, the action is uninspired and it's metaphors too thuddingly simply and obvious. It's bravado cynicism of the "*I* don't believe in *anything*" sort, rather than icy gaze of an jaded observer like Jean-Pierre Melville.

  2010-10-23
  0.3

• Eastern Promises (2007) 3.5/5

  2007-10-07 20:55

  

  Studded with greatness, but ultimately unsatisfying. It feels less like a complete story and more like a showcase for David Cronenberg's clinical direction (I kind of felt the same way about Spider). There are several terrific scenes, but I didn't feel that Cronenberg was really connecting with the material as much as the actors were. And the abrupt ending just emphasized that feeling -- as if to say, "well, I did everything we came here to do, let's go home".

  2007-10-07
  0.3

• Eddie Izzard: Dress to Kill (1999) (V) 3.5/5

  2007-05-01 11:16

  

  To quote my brother Ty's opinion of British comedy: "You know what's really, really, really funny? A man dressed as a woman." I'm more of a David Cross man myself, but Eddie Izzard really is pretty funny.

  2007-05-01
  0.3

• Encounters at the End of the World (2007) 4/5

  2008-07-12 19:54

  

  2008-07-12
  0.3

• Enter the Dragon (1973) 4/5

  2008-01-27 23:01

  

  A classic, but that doesn't mean it's great. I mean, Bruce Lee is great, but whenever he's not on the the screen -- or when he's on the screen but not kicking ass -- it's really a bit of a bore. Fortunately, a pretty fair chunk of the movie is, indeed, Bruce Lee kicking ass.

  2008-01-27
  0.3

• Eraserhead (1976) 4.5/5

  2010-09-12 09:03

  

  "So I just, uh... I just cut them up like regular chickens?"
  "Sure, just cut them up like regular chickens."

  2010-09-12
  0.3

• Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) 5/5

  2006-10-07 00:03

  

  The greatest English-language movie of the 21st century. So far, I guess. Honestly, I think I like it a little more each time I see it.

  2006-10-07
  0.3

• Everything's Gone Green (2006) 3.5/5

  2007-05-08 11:51

  

  This Douglas Coupland-scripted film couldn't possibly have been written by anyone else -- at times, it feels like outtakes from JPod. It's not terribly ambitious, but it's charming. More that anything else, though, it's a love letter to Vancouver, and her rain and mountains and yuppie bike fanatics and baby boomer grow-ops and, above all, her rows and rows of towering glass condos.

  2007-05-08
  0.3

• Fiend Without A Face (1958) 3/5

  2009-10-10 21:30

  

  2009-10-10
  0.3

• Fils, Le (2002) 2/5

  2007-03-08 22:14

  

  The Son. Yet another overrated European film in the self-consciously "artistic" style of the past ten years or so -- lots of hand-held cameras and drab location shots. This one follows a character who is (intentionally) a complete cypher. "Follows" is really the word -- a good third of the film is spent staring at the back of his head while he walks around. The whole thing is deliberately difficult and opaque, but all the showy, high-mindedness contempt for style can't disguise the fact that the situation and characters are utterly implausible and the film really doesn't seem to have anything at all to say about them.

  2007-03-08
  0.3

• Fire Maidens from Outer Space (1956) 1/5

  2007-11-25 23:45

  

  2007-11-25
  0.3

• Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008) 4/5

  2008-10-15 23:09

  

  2008-10-15
  0.3

• Forgotten Silver (1995) (TV) 3.5/5

  2007-04-09 13:31

  

  What a strange item. Peter Jackson made this fake documentary about a fictional filmmaker for New Zealand public television. Most of the stuff I've seen calls it a mockumentary, but aside from a few little jokes, it's not really meant to be funny. It really more of a kind-hearted wish-fulfillment hoax that could only have come from someone with a genuine and immense love of cinema -- the history of cinema as Peter Jackson wishes it was.

  2007-04-09
  0.3

• Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed (1969) 4/5

  2007-07-19 19:39

  

  This, the fifth film in the Hammer Frankenstein series is a thoroughly Gothic tale of blackmail, murder, revenge and unauthorized human brain transplants. And then more murder. I find some of the Hammer horror films to be a bit ponderous, but not this one. It rips right along like a mad scientist on fire, with a scenery-devouring Peter Cushing as the Baron Victor Frankenstein, whose insanity is matched only by his insatiable lust -- a lust for experimental brain surgery! Bwahahahaaaaa! Tasty. Very tasty.

  2007-07-19
  0.3

• Frost/Nixon (2008) 3.5/5

  2009-01-11 04:33

  

  It's not a great piece of filmmaking, but I've been reading a lot about Nixon lately, and I think this movie really nailed his character: he's like an evil Spock.

  2009-01-11
  0.3

• Galaxy Quest (1999) 3.5/5

  2009-10-10 21:33

  

  2009-10-10
  0.3

• Gamera vs Guiron (1969) 2.5/5

  2008-02-25 00:24

  

  2008-02-25
  0.3

• Gamera vs Gyaos (1967) 1/5

  2008-02-16 21:04

  

  Godzilla, at least in his first couple of films, is iconic and even poetic -- capital-N Nature in all its awesome fury, reminding the folks of badly-dubbed Japan that they and all their tiny, easily-crushable buildings are as insects by comparison. His fellow giant monster Gamera, however, is a bizarre, jet-powered flying turtle who likes to let creepy kids ride on his back. Here he battles a giant bird that can shoot lasers from its mouth. Gamera, you suck.

  2008-02-16
  0.3

• Gesualdo: Death for Five Voices (1995) 2/5

  2007-07-29 15:29

  

  A rare misfire from Werner Herzog. Gesualdo was a 17th-century Italian prince, who was also an alchemist, a masochist, a murderer and a composer (not necessarily in that order). His compositions have been praised as radically ahead of their time, and his life has given rise to an entire cottage industry of lurid and implausible legends. It's easy to see why this would appeal to any documentarian, let alone Herzog. Unfortunately, while there are a few brilliant Herzog touches, most of the film looks like it could have been made by any documentarian, with Herzog touring old palaces and interviewing pompous talking heads (the choir leader, especially, is clearly more in love with the sound of his own voice than Gesualdo's music). Worst of all, though, a good third of the film is made of up performances of Gesualdo's madrigals, and they are all rather boring and indistinguishable. There are a couple of great moments, but nowhere near enough to save the film.

  2007-07-29
  0.3

• Glengarry Glen Ross (1992) 4.5/5

  2007-10-07 21:00

  

  I don't know what I can say about this film that hasn't been said a hundred times. It's brilliant. It's painful. It's exhilarating. And it has the best, most stylized dialogue any film has ever had. "We're adding a little something to this month's sales contest. As you all know, first prize is a Cadillac Eldorado. Anybody want to see second prize? Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you're fired. "

  2007-10-07
  0.3

• Grease (1978) 4/5

  2009-03-15 21:06

  

  Alright, I'll admit the highlight was watching it with Janelle while she gleefully told me how each scene shaped her younger self. But I still dug it. What can I say? I really do have a soft spot for musicals -- even when they're not great films per se. Only problem is, I found Olivia Newton-John to be kind of a bore (sorry, Janelle). I wanted to see more of Didi Conn's rebel-dork Frenchy! (Which I hear I can in Grease 2. Hmmm...)

  2009-03-15
  0.3

• Gremlins (1984) 3/5

  2008-09-25 21:57

  

  2008-09-25
  0.3

• Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990) 4/5

  2008-09-25 21:58

  

  2008-09-25
  0.3

• Grindhouse (2007) 4.5/5

  2007-04-23 10:48

  

  I may end up giving this one a ten when I see it on DVD. The two films are both excellent, and play to the strengths of Rodriguez and Tarantino. Rodriguez is a master craftsman -- his films are never the slightest bit deep or original, but when he's on, he's superb at aping other people's styles and delivering slick entertainment. Here, he combines his ubiquitous John Woo fetish with the gore of Romero and Argento and the hipster winking of Return of the Living Dead to serve up a great zombie action-comedy. Tarantino, on the other hand, may nod, but he doesn't wink, and he gives us a movie that only Tarantino could have made. On the surface, it's a Tarantino version of Two Lane Blacktop or Vanishing Point. But as much as he loves those films, he is willing to take a sledgehammer to their macho 1970s misogyny. It'll be hard to ever take those squinting antiheroes and hysterical bimbos seriously again after this. And the ending is utterly brilliant -- totally in line with the counterculture nihilism of the racing films, and completely hilarious.

  2007-04-23
  0.3

• Groundhog Day (1993) 5/5

  2007-07-01 23:49

  

  This may or may not be my all-time favourite movie, but it is my favourite movie of my favourite actor. Bill Murray is this film has to go from smug to egocentric, to confused, to elated, to nihilistic, to suicidal, to resigned, to compassionate, to humble, to serene -- all while playing the same character. And he has to do it all while being funny. This is the kind of movie that makes me happy to be alive, not because it's uplifting, but because it is just so damn brilliant. It is also the original source of my Bill Murray man-crush.

  2007-07-01
  0.3

• Half Nelson (2006) 4/5

  2007-04-19 12:11

  

  Ryan Gosling plays a crack-addicted teacher who manages to be sympathetic even while he wallows in his situation. This isn't a movie about redemption, it's about a man with an addiction-sized hole in his being, and it's refreshingly, quietly unsentimental.

  2007-04-19
  0.3

• Happy-Go-Lucky (2008) 3.5/5

  2009-10-10 21:30

  

  2009-10-10
  0.3

• Hard Candy (2005) 2/5

  2007-06-12 00:35

  

  This horror-psycho-thriller is hard to watch, sometimes because it's so intense, and sometimes because it's so damned stagey that it reminded me of Tape, a movie I hated. I'm still not sure if it's a film about revenge and victimization dressed up with extreme violence, or an extreme violence film paying lip service to victimization and its consequences. To be honest, I'm not sure which I'd prefer.

  2007-06-12
  0.3

• Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle (2004) 3/5

  2007-06-17 10:51

  

  Not a great film, but I have a weird fondness for goofy road movies. This one gets surprising milage out of simply having two Asian stoners as the heros and a genuinely funny scene with Neil Patrick Harris as a horny e-tard version of himself.

  2007-06-17
  0.3

• Heima (2007) 3.5/5

  2008-04-22 21:57

  

  2008-04-22
  0.3

• Hellboy (2004) 3/5

  2008-01-08 19:52

  

  Entertaining movie with some brilliantly-directed scenes, and Ron Perlman is brilliant as Hellboy, but the story and editing are so choppy that by the end you pretty much have to give up on making any sense of what's going on or how anybody got anywhere. Still, del Toro is unquestionably a brilliant filmmaker, and I'm really looking forward to Hellboy 2.

  2008-01-08
  0.3

• Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008) 3.5/5

  2008-07-25 09:30

  

  2008-07-25
  0.3

List generated by WP Movie Ratings.