eric brochu

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December, 1999
The Wrestler (2008) 4/5
0000-00-00 00:00

The story is disappointingly unimaginative, but the acting and direction more than compensate. Mickey Rourke is the titular over-the-hill professional wrestler, but within the first two minutes you forget you're watching Rourke -- it's just Randy "The Ram" up there on screen, living the life it must have taken decades to get to. An absolutely incredible performance.
0000-00-00
0.3
July, 2006
Willard (2003) 3/5
2006-07-28 01:56

Crispin Glover plays a weirdo. Surprise! Though as always, he does it really, really well. This time, he befriends, controls and is betrayed by an army of intelligent, cat-eating rats. There's a tacked-on human love interest, but the real relationship is Glover and his rats.
2006-07-28
0.3
Superman Returns (2006) 2/5
2006-07-29 09:53

Superman is not a terribly interesting superhero, but did the whole movie really have to be so bland? A monosyllabic Superman rescues a complete non-entity Lois Lane and her mouth-breathing kid. Even Kevin Spacey's Lex Luthor is dishwater-dull.
2006-07-29
0.3
Clerks II (2006) 4.5/5
2006-07-30 23:56

I loved this movie! It's funny and nasty and smart and heartfelt and possibly Kevin Smith's best film yet. I hope we'll be revisting Dante and Randal again in another ten years.
2006-07-30
0.3
Repulsion (1965) 3/5
2006-07-31 01:37

I know it's a classic, and it has some great scenes, but the New Wave-inspired "la femme brushes her teeth and then the phone rings" scenes have aged about as well as the dime-store psychoanalysis. Catherine Deneuve is incredibly hot, but she's such a vague cipher that I never really cared what happened to her. Polanski did another psychological horror movie, The Tenant, which is less famous, but which I liked much, much better.
2006-07-31
0.3
C.H.U.D. (1984) 3/5
2006-07-31 23:52

The eponymous Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers are feasting on the good people of Reagan-era NYC! Not remotely what you would call a "good" movie, the darn thing just tries so hard it ends up being a lot more entertaining than it should be.
2006-07-31
0.3
August, 2006
Miami Vice (2006) 3.5/5
2006-08-01 23:26

“Movies are so rarely great art that if we cannot appreciate great trash we have very little reason to be interested in them” -- Pauline Kael
2006-08-01
0.3
Shaun of the Dead (2004) 5/5
2006-08-07 00:19

If I had stayed in film school and become a filmmaker and been much more talented, a Canadian version of this movie would be the greatest thing I could ever hope to accomplish. However, do not buy the DVD, unless the idea of sitting through seven-and-a-half minutes of unskippable ads and anti-piracy threats every time you pop it in appeals to you.
2006-08-07
0.3
The Pianist (2002) 3.5/5
2006-08-07 23:40

Yes, I'm rating this moving testament to survivors of the holocaust the same as Miami Vice and lower than the zombie rom-com and than the movie with the donkey sex. And still I contend it is perfectly reasonable to rank all movies along a single line that goes from Manos: The Hands of Fate to Seven Samurai.
2006-08-07
0.3
Rosemary's Baby (1968) 4/5
2006-08-12 01:33

You know, as much as I like a lot of Roman Polanski's work, watching several of his films in close proximity makes it hard to ignore the fact that he seems to see women as weak and perhaps a little retarded. While a pretty great film, this is also exhibit A.
2006-08-12
0.3
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006) 1.5/5
2006-08-14 09:05

What the hell was the line of reasoning that lead me to believe this movie wouldn't suck ass?
2006-08-14
0.3
Mean Creek (2004) 3.5/5
2006-08-17 00:03

A modest little film about a group of kids who take a bully on a boat trip to teach him a lesson. Great performances from all the child actors, but the story seems to kind of lose its momentum as it goes on. Still, I liked it quite a bit.
2006-08-17
0.3
Land of the Dead (2005) 3/5
2006-08-18 22:33

Disappointing at times, but I do love zombie movies, and this one has Dennis Hopper as a venal fat cat, Canada as a zombie-free paradise and a director who pretty openly has more sympathy for the dead than the living, all of which score points with me.
2006-08-18
0.3
Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) 5/5
2006-08-20 01:34

As close to perfection as this kind of movie will ever get.
2006-08-20
0.3
"The Office" (2001) 5/5
2006-08-26 22:32

Literally the funniest thing I've ever seen.
2006-08-26
0.3
Snakes on a Plane (2006) 2/5
2006-08-30 10:13

Manufactured Hollywood camp that somehow manages to make me question Sam Jackson's coolness. Still, it's a lot more entertaining than Superman Returns.
2006-08-30
0.3
September, 2006
"Spaced" (1999) 5/5
2006-09-03 21:34

Completely brilliant Channel 4 series from the creative team that went on to make Shaun of the Dead. Hilarious characters, non-stop movie and comics references, and a sountrack featuring everything from Boards of Canada to Fantastic Plastic Machine -- I'm amazed I managed to go so long without seeing it.
2006-09-03
0.3
Little Miss Sunshine (2006) 3.5/5
2006-09-08 10:09

This kind of "indie lite" comedy, where everybody is charmingly quirky, can easily become groan-inducingly precious (*cough cough* Garden State). But this movie mostly manages to deftly step up to the cliche cliff and then zip off in another direction. Plus, this demonstrates my thesis that no movie with an unexpected musical number has ever been bad. Except some musicals.
2006-09-08
0.3
His Girl Friday (1940) 3.5/5
2006-09-09 11:41

Howard Hawks, Cary Grant and Rosalind Russell are all great, but this film still has that kind of untra-stagey kind of feel Hollywood movies had in the 1930s -- lots of tripod-mounted two-shots and jarring edits, and very sharp dialogue recited very fast, very loud and very flat.
2006-09-09
0.3
Ruang talok 69 (1999) 3.5/5
2006-09-13 21:23

A cute Thai crime thriller/dark comedy in the Tarantino mold. A bit derivative sometimes, but with lots of original and unexpected touches. The director went on to make Last Life in the Universe, which I really loved.
2006-09-13
0.3
The Descent (2005) 4.5/5
2006-09-20 11:04

Fantastic. Rave blog post coming soonish.
2006-09-20
0.3
Sid and Nancy (1986) 4/5
2006-09-22 23:13

I really can't wrap my head around how Alex Cox can make two great films -- this, and Repo Man -- in the space of two years, and then essentially spend the next twenty years working in semi-obscurity making films in Mexico and TV movies for the BBC.
2006-09-22
0.3
The Science of Sleep (2006) 4/5
2006-09-28 14:16

The best movie I've seen since The Descent. But it's not much like The Descent. It's like Gondry's previous film, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, but even moreso, since it's more persional and more indulgent.
2006-09-28
0.3
October, 2006
Man of the Century (1999) 3.5/5
2006-10-02 23:31

A reporter straight out of a 1930s screwball comedy lives life inexplicably and blissfully unaware that it's almost the 21st century. A really charming little film that deserves to be better known. So go rent it.
2006-10-02
0.3
Root of All Evil? (2006) (TV) 2.5/5
2006-10-02 23:54

A Channel 4 TV show in which Richard Dawkins attacks religion and makes arguments against both extremism and religious moderates (who he chides for being both irrational and inconsistent). His feelings on the subject are very similar to my own, but the film is basically just an abridged version of his books on the subject, with a few far-too-brief interviews with practitioners of various stripes.
2006-10-02
0.3
Living Dolls: The Making of a Child Beauty Queen (2001) (TV) 4/5
2006-10-06 19:31

Pretty amazing doc about child beauty pagents in the deep south. The title is uncannily accurate. What struck me most was that the little girls in the doc aren't being turned into adult women or anyone's idea of femininity -- they're dolls: unblemished, utterly passive porcelain simulacra of children in birthday-cake dresses. That, and the extremely southern, extremely gay coaches. That's gotta be the path of most resistance.
2006-10-06
0.3
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) 5/5
2006-10-07 00:03

The greatest English-language movie of the 21st century. So far, I guess. Honestly, I think I like it a little more each time I see it.
2006-10-07
0.3
Renaissance (2006) 1.5/5
2006-10-08 00:39

Beautiful, but stupid. Really, really stupid. Will the dedicated maverick cop be forced to turn in his badge but vow to stay on the case? Will the megacorp president who talks about bettering the world turn out to be... pure evil? Will the cop and the 'bad girl' fight at first and then fall for each other? If you can't guess the answer, welcome to your very first movie.
2006-10-08
0.3
Radiant City (2006) 2.5/5
2006-10-11 09:39

This is probably the most artistically interesting movie I saw at the film festival, using a mockumentary-style approach to looking at Calgary as a stand-in for suburbanization generally. Unfortunately, it kind of turns to shit in the last 20 minutes with the "ha ha we tricked you" moment, following which the actors break character and start to talk and talk and talk and talk. And talk.
2006-10-11
0.3
Three Extremes (2004) 3/5
2006-10-13 22:45

Three Extremes. A trio of short indie art-house Asian horror/drama films from Fruit Chan, Park Chan-Wook and Miike Takashi. The latter two are among my favorite directors (I haven't seen any of Fruit Chan's films), but of the three only Takashi's nightmarish series of beautiful and horrible images is really successful. Fruit Chan's benefits from good performances and Christopher Doyle cinematography, but doesn't have anywhere to go from its premise, and Chan-wook Park's just rather does suck.
2006-10-13
0.3
The Beach (2000/I) 1.5/5
2006-10-15 23:42

Actually, I spent most of the movie's runtime getting caught up on xkcd, so I'll let the IMDB's Titanic_Fanatic25 sum it up thusly: "whats your favorite scene of the beach?? mine is when him && Françoise are in the waterr && start making outt. veryy hot. he looks extremely good in that movie. [[especially in that part]] she is one lucky chick, dudee." Yes, yes, I'm a horrible snob.
2006-10-15
0.3
The Departed (2006) 4.5/5
2006-10-19 11:01

It's great to have Scorcese back after his last couple of experiments with middlebrow Oscar bait. Brilliant film. If I have one complaint it's with Jack Nicholson's cartoon villain. But otherwise, excellent performances from everyone involved, and a hell of a lot easier to follow than the original Infernal Affairs.
2006-10-19
0.3
Trailer Park Boys: The Movie (2006) 3.5/5
2006-10-28 11:50

Simulataneously looks much more expensive than the TV series, and still very, very cheap (which is a good thing). I wish they'd done more than just made an episode of the series with a few awkwardly-inserted T
2006-10-28
0.3
Bringing Up Baby (1938) 4.5/5
2006-10-28 12:00

Now that is what I'm talking about! 101 minutes of breakneck entertainment with Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn bein' all young and funny and adorable. Typical 1930s style, it's very stagey, but somehow it works.
2006-10-28
0.3
November, 2006
The Girl from Monday (2005) 1/5
2006-11-08 13:31

Ever since I saw Trust (still one of my top five films of all time) over ten years ago, I've eagerly followed Hal Hartley's career. But No Such Thing felt like Hal Hartley-lite, and this just feels like the work of an imposter. It has the Hartley tropes, but they're mushy, flavorless and decidedly lacking in nutritional value. And where No Such Thing lifted from La belle et la bête, this one is so derivative of The Man Who Fell to Earth that I just felt kind of embarassed for both Hartley and Nick Roeg.
2006-11-08
0.3
The Awful Truth (1937) 4/5
2006-11-09 22:07

You know how some nights, you just want to lie on the sofa with a bag of leftover Halloween candy, a bottle of chilled vodka and an old Cary Grant comedy? This is the old Cary Grant comedy you want to be watching.
2006-11-09
0.3
The Prestige (2006) 3/5
2006-11-18 14:34

A clever, slick and enjoyable way to kill a couple of hours. Nowhere near deserving all the hype it's getting, though I felt that way about Chistopher Nolan's Memento and Batman Begins, too.
2006-11-18
0.3
Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit... 4.5/5
2006-11-19 15:00

Laughed 'til I peed and peed 'til I laughed! (Just checking to see if anybody's actually reading this. Hi, mom!)
2006-11-19
0.3
Only the Bad Sleep Well (1960) 4.5/5
2006-11-23 11:21

Kurosawa's fantastic and nihilistic revenge film, loosly based on Hamlet, but set inside a corrupt public corporation in postwar Tokyo. What makes it fascinating is that the violence is more emotional and social than physical, but no less devastating, and the price is just as high.
2006-11-23
0.3
Re-Animator (1985) 3.5/5
2006-11-25 16:43

A messy, gory, tasteless piece of 80s camp horror that is as much fun to watch as it must have been to make.
2006-11-25
0.3
Tôkyô nagaremono (1966) 3/5
2006-11-26 21:24

Tokyo Drifter. A strange and stylish gangster pic from Japan, at the height of Euro-jazz chic. At times, it reminded me of Le Samourai, For a Fistful of Dollars or Point Blank, though without the gravity of the first, the rawness of the second, or the overwhelming coolness of the third.
2006-11-26
0.3
The New World (2005) 4.5/5
2006-11-27 01:20

Terrence Malick made hsi first feature in 1978, and this is only the third since then. But like Badlands, Days of Heaven and The Thin Red Line, I think it's brilliant: beautiful and poetic and joyful and sad and damn near transcendent.
2006-11-27
0.3
December, 2006
The Fountain (2006) 4/5
2006-12-07 23:42

I'm not quite sure how to rate this, because I found it moving and beautiful and original, but I don't think it's completely successful. It wanted to fill me with awe, but instead, it just made me admire it for even trying. But still, I enjoyed it immensely, and I'll definitely be watching it again on DVD. Maybe then, I'll be able to reconcile my conflicted reactions.
2006-12-07
0.3
Modern Romance (1981) 3.5/5
2006-12-07 23:45

Here's another movie that doesn't quite succeed as a movie, but is more interesting than a dozen slick and flawless Hollywood films. It's really a series of set pieces demonstrating the many faces of Albert Brooks' neuroses, but damn if it isn't spectacularly funny right up until the last scene, which chokes to death on its own pathos.
2006-12-07
0.3
January, 2007
Pan's Labyrinth (2006) 4.5/5
2007-01-28 15:51

I saw this movie a week ago, and I've spent a long time thinking about it since then. I'm not sure I can fully grasp the film's underlying themes, which seems to be connnecting fascism with fairy tales, but I am sure that it's an dark, original, powerfully-told story, and I liked it very much.
2007-01-28
0.3
Children of Men (2006) 4/5
2007-01-28 16:05

If ever you wanted an example of how directing can save a mediocre screenplay this is it. The story and dialogue are uneven, but the film is made with so much passion and anger that it imprinted itself firmly onto my imagination.
2007-01-28
0.3
February, 2007
Idiocracy (2006) 2.5/5
2007-02-04 00:16

A real cult has grown up around this film already, based on the studio's decision to order reshoots, then shelve it, then dump it straight to DVD with no publicity. In some quarters, it's been hailed as a buried masterpiece, and The Guardian (predictably) posits a conspiracy based on the supposed subversive power of the film's anti-corporate message. Unfortunately, while it has some pretty funny moments, there are some long, dry stretches of Hollywood hokum between them, and the satirical jabs are hardly devastating. Which is kind of disappointing -- Mike Judge really nailed the whole "laughing at retards" thing when he did Beavis and Butt-Head.
2007-02-04
0.3
The Black Dahlia (2006) 1.5/5
2007-02-11 01:43

A runaway bulldozer of a movie, colliding into campy performances and sending plot points flying right out of the film. The the third act is a head-on collision with crazy town, and everything turns out to somehow be the fault of some incidental characters we know and care nothing about. For a few brief moments, it's so stupid and over-the-top it's better than good. But mostly, it's just bad.
2007-02-11
0.3
Jesus Camp (2006) 3.5/5
2007-02-26 13:04

A documentary looking at a camp for the children of evangelical Christian parents. (Notice I didn't say "evangelical children" -- as Richard Dawkins points out in The God Delusion, none of these kids chose or understand the dogma.) The purpose of the camp is, quite openly, to brainwash these kids into being obedient servants of far-right evangelical Republican interests, and it's never creepier than when the true-believer director is railing against Muslims and bringing out a cardboard cut-out of George Bush for the children to "thank". And for now, none of them knowing any better, they take to it. I would love to see a follow-up documentary in ten years -- the missing piece of the doc is what happens to these kids and their unquestioning obedience when they become adolescents and young adults.
2007-02-26
0.3
The Towering Inferno (1974) 3/5
2007-02-26 13:23

Instead of watching the Oscars, Ty, Abhi and I watched this. It's just as bloated and stupid, but a lot more fun. Plus, it was nominated for 8 Oscars (including Best Picture) and won 3, so obviously it represents the best that Hollywood had to offer, right? Also, is it just me, or did Hollywood really, really hate women in the 70s? All they do here is run around shrieking and falling off the building and endangering the brave men trying to rescue them.
2007-02-26
0.3
March, 2007
Zodiac (2007) 4.5/5
2007-03-03 01:58

A painstakingly detailed masterpiece about the painstaking detailed assembly of a murder case. This is truly a film that lives up to its own obsessive inspiration -- the true story of the tracking of the Zodiac serial killer by professional and amateur sleuths. I've admired David Fincher ever since Seven, but here he puts the flashy tricks away and sets himself up as heir to Hitchcock.
2007-03-03
0.3
Fils, Le (2002) 2/5
2007-03-08 22:14

The Son. Yet another overrated European film in the self-consciously "artistic" style of the past ten years or so -- lots of hand-held cameras and drab location shots. This one follows a character who is (intentionally) a complete cypher. "Follows" is really the word -- a good third of the film is spent staring at the back of his head while he walks around. The whole thing is deliberately difficult and opaque, but all the showy, high-mindedness contempt for style can't disguise the fact that the situation and characters are utterly implausible and the film really doesn't seem to have anything at all to say about them.
2007-03-08
0.3
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966) 5/5
2007-03-12 12:03

It turns out my roommate Florence had never seen this masterpiece. So naturally, we had to put everything on hold and watch it. I don't think there's ever been a movie with so many incredible scenes, finishing off with three fantastic set pieces in a row -- Tuco's run through the graveyard, the three-way duel, and the hanging -- any one of which would be a scene for the ages, but together just leaves you breathless and grateful that such films exist (well, it has that effect on me, at least).
2007-03-12
0.3
300 (2006) 3.5/5
2007-03-16 11:00

Entertainingly stupid action movie, in which slave-owning Spartans fight for liberty and freedom against a ninja-powered Persian army. The movie has a pretty obvious message about saving Western Civilization from the Persian hordes, but really, it's much too stupid to take seriously. I mean, think about it: if you're taking issue with the movie's politics, you're really complaining about Frank Miller's worldview. Frank Miller. It's like arguing about foreign policy with a particularly bloodthirsty twelve-year-old.
2007-03-16
0.3
Black Snake Moan (2006) 4/5
2007-03-22 15:21

On a farm in Tennessee, God-fearing bluesman Sam Jackson chains nympomaniac Christina Ricci to his radiator. But it's for her own good. Really! The whole thing is kind of preposterous, but it sure wasn't boring or predictable.
2007-03-22
0.3
2046 (2004) 2/5
2007-03-22 15:36

I really wanted to like this movie. I know a lot of people did, or claim to. It's beautifully shot and features various beautiful women in beautiful, chic dresses living in a beautifully shabby hotel in 1960s Hong Kong. It's a good-looking movie. But it lost me. It's just so taken up with its own elegant, oblique, art-house-romance view of the world, that I could never get past the artificiality of the characters and the story. The constant droning narration and pointless, ponderous sci-fi elements didn't help either. However, Christopher Doyle's gorgeous cinematography makes the movie worth watching, for a while, at least.
2007-03-22
0.3
Point Blank (1967) 5/5
2007-03-26 23:34

This is the ultimate Lee Marvin movie, and probably in my top ten films of all time. I love this movie on so many levels -- the stunningly avant-guard editing; the colour-themed photography; the stark tough-guy dialog; the cool sixties location shooting -- it's a movie both of and ahead of its time. But above all, there's Lee Marvin as the brutal, existential anti-hero he was born to play. Nobody punches a crotch like Marvin, and nobody makes sadness seem so manly.
2007-03-26
0.3
April, 2007
Chungking Express (1994) 4.5/5
2007-04-02 12:39

Chungking Express. After the disappointingly stuffy and ponderous 2046, I needed to watch this movie again to remind myself why I used to like Wong Kar Wai. And it's all still here -- it's amazingly full of life and vivid characters and atmosphere, and here, WKW is working with Christopher Doyle's breathtaking cinematography, instead of making it do all the heavy lifting. However, this time around, I could see all the seeds of what I've come to dislike about WKW's more recent work -- there's a certain self-importance behind the playfulness, and a literary fascination with the internal states and histories of the characters. These things might make for a good novelist, but they don't bode well for a truly cinematic filmmaker.
2007-04-02
0.3
The Host (2006) 3.5/5
2007-04-02 12:44

A fun take on the monster movie, complete with incompetent authorities, heroic children, and a beastie that just won't stay dead. But done up Korean-style. Yummy.
2007-04-02
0.3
Forgotten Silver (1995) (TV) 3.5/5
2007-04-09 13:31

What a strange item. Peter Jackson made this fake documentary about a fictional filmmaker for New Zealand public television. Most of the stuff I've seen calls it a mockumentary, but aside from a few little jokes, it's not really meant to be funny. It really more of a kind-hearted wish-fulfillment hoax that could only have come from someone with a genuine and immense love of cinema -- the history of cinema as Peter Jackson wishes it was.
2007-04-09
0.3
Dawn of the Dead (1978) 5/5
2007-04-09 13:35

The ultimate zombie movie. It's not slick, but it's powerful. At some point, I have to pull together all my ideas about why zombie movies appeal to me, and this movie is the key. It's also probably the only zombie movie that's a great movie, period. Except possibly Shaun of the Dead.
2007-04-09
0.3
Casino Royale (2006) 3/5
2007-04-09 13:42

James Bond as female abuse-victim fantasy. He's a rich but brutal and manipulative bad boy sociopath, who really, is just waiting for the one woman who can break through his armour and tell him what a good person he is, at which point he will become sweet and sensitive and completely change himself for her. As long as she doesn't step out of line -- but at that point it's really her own fault for making him hurt her, and she damn well knows it. Unfortunately, the "she" is the painfully dull Eva Green, whose flat line delivery literally made me cringe. But at least it's a competent action movie, which is a damn sight more than you can say about almost all the other Bond flicks.
2007-04-09
0.3
Being John Malkovich (1999) 4.5/5
2007-04-16 15:49

Wacky doesn't even begin to describe this movie about a secret door that leads inside John Malkovich's brain. What appeals to me is not only how original the premise of the film is, but that it just keep piling more and more brilliant inventive material on.
2007-04-16
0.3
Half Nelson (2006) 4/5
2007-04-19 12:11

Ryan Gosling plays a crack-addicted teacher who manages to be sympathetic even while he wallows in his situation. This isn't a movie about redemption, it's about a man with an addiction-sized hole in his being, and it's refreshingly, quietly unsentimental.
2007-04-19
0.3
Grindhouse (2007) 4.5/5
2007-04-23 10:48

I may end up giving this one a ten when I see it on DVD. The two films are both excellent, and play to the strengths of Rodriguez and Tarantino. Rodriguez is a master craftsman -- his films are never the slightest bit deep or original, but when he's on, he's superb at aping other people's styles and delivering slick entertainment. Here, he combines his ubiquitous John Woo fetish with the gore of Romero and Argento and the hipster winking of Return of the Living Dead to serve up a great zombie action-comedy. Tarantino, on the other hand, may nod, but he doesn't wink, and he gives us a movie that only Tarantino could have made. On the surface, it's a Tarantino version of Two Lane Blacktop or Vanishing Point. But as much as he loves those films, he is willing to take a sledgehammer to their macho 1970s misogyny. It'll be hard to ever take those squinting antiheroes and hysterical bimbos seriously again after this. And the ending is utterly brilliant -- totally in line with the counterculture nihilism of the racing films, and completely hilarious.
2007-04-23
0.3
Hot Fuzz (2007) 4.5/5
2007-04-25 22:16

It doesn't quite reach the heights of non-stop awesomeness that Shaun of the Dead does, but it's still superb and hilarious and I enjoyed it an awful lot. I guess I'm not the only one who spent his formative years fantasizing about his go-nowhere, dull little home town erupting in scenes of spectacular action-movie mayhem.
2007-04-25
0.3
Seppuku (1962) 4/5
2007-04-25 22:27

AKA Harakiri. This is a little bit like the Unforgiven of samurai flicks (and samurai reality?). It presents the samurai code of bushido as a poisonous hypocrisy that romaticizes stupid, wasteful death in the name of honour. The only people than benefit from the mythology are the cynics. If there's a weak spot, it's the occasional bit of preachiness and sentimentality, but these don't detract at all from the power of the story.
2007-04-25
0.3
May, 2007
Eddie Izzard: Dress to Kill (1999) (V) 3.5/5
2007-05-01 11:16

To quote my brother Ty's opinion of British comedy: "You know what's really, really, really funny? A man dressed as a woman." I'm more of a David Cross man myself, but Eddie Izzard really is pretty funny.
2007-05-01
0.3
Blinkende lygter (2000) 2.5/5
2007-05-02 21:49

Flickering Lights. This Danish pastiche of US indie films isn't going to win any awards for originality, but as wacky gangster comedy psychodramas go, it's fairly entertaining, even if it doesn't really add up to much in the end. Though there are a couple of bits of "wacky" xenophobia that leave a sour taste behind when it's over.
2007-05-02
0.3
Everything's Gone Green (2006) 3.5/5
2007-05-08 11:51

This Douglas Coupland-scripted film couldn't possibly have been written by anyone else -- at times, it feels like outtakes from JPod. It's not terribly ambitious, but it's charming. More that anything else, though, it's a love letter to Vancouver, and her rain and mountains and yuppie bike fanatics and baby boomer grow-ops and, above all, her rows and rows of towering glass condos.
2007-05-08
0.3
The Man from Snowy River (1982) 3/5
2007-05-08 11:56

As far as Australian Westerns go, this is no The Proposition. It's a sweet, cheesy romance about a boy, a girl and a horse, with some breathtaking shots of wild horses running through the mountains of Victoria.
2007-05-08
0.3
Irma Vep (1996) 3.5/5
2007-05-10 10:14

"I thought you hated French movies," my roommate said when he saw me watching this. That's not really fair. I only hate the boring, pretentious, "highbrow" fare that is 93% of what makes its way here (and yes, that number's correct -- I did the math). This movie seems to hate it too, but, ironically, can't seem to resist getting bogged down in "intellectual" commentary toward the end, as if it suddenly wanted to prove it was a Serious French Art Film. However, the gorgeous Maggie Cheung (playing herself) spends most of the movie padding around in a latex catsuit being lusted after by her cute lesbian costume designer. This alone makes it the best French film of the past decade. Maybe ever.
2007-05-10
0.3
28 Weeks Later (2007) 4/5
2007-05-21 17:23

28 Days Later has such a dramatic, powerful opening, that the rest of the movie seemed anticlimactic. This sequel has an opening that's almost as powerful, but doesn't sabotage the rest of the film. Despite a few "what was their plan?" type plot holes and impossibly good-looking zombie holocaust survivors, this is a smart, powerful horror-thriller that follows organically from the first movie and sets up the premise for a third film that I really, really want to see.
2007-05-21
0.3
Zero Effect (1998) 4/5
2007-05-28 10:49

This character study/detective film is so clever and so thoroughly enjoyable, it should really be better known. It has a twisty film noir plot, great location shooting in Portland, Oregon, and Ben Stiller back when he could be funny without making the veins in his forehead pop out from the effort. But the real reason to see it is Bill Pullman as Daryl Zero, kind of a mixture of Sherlock Holmes and Howard Hughes: superemely confident as a detective, but so socially inept that he refuses to ever meet clients and locks himself in his apartment living on diet of tuna, Tab and amphetemines. Pullman gives Zero a social ineptness that starts out hilarious and then slowly adds levels of pain and poignancy as his latest case pulls him further and further out of his safety zone.
2007-05-28
0.3
Prince of Darkness (1987) 2/5
2007-05-31 11:28

For some reason, John Carpenter's movies are more fun to think about than to watch. This one could have been awesome -- a group of scientists and theologians investigate a mysterious artifact that may contain Satan. Or is it an alien? Or some kind of time traveller? And it's pretty slick and well-made, considering the low budget. But ultimately, it's manages to be both iconic and vaguely unsatisfying. Just like Assault on Precinct 13 and Big Trouble in Little China. And Escape from new York. And They Live. And so on.
2007-05-31
0.3
June, 2007
Cars (2006) 2.5/5
2007-06-02 11:03

The Incredibles is a brilliant film, and an impossible act to follow, no question. And that just makes Cars still feel even more like an artistic misstep for Pixar -- a bland, safe, kid-friendly cash-machine, complete with fart jokes and characters that look like they were designed as happy meals toys first. It's frustrating not because it's bad, but because you know everyone involved can do better.
2007-06-02
0.3
Top Gun (1986) 4/5
2007-06-03 14:01

The best movie ever about Tom Cruise coming to terms with his homosexuality.
2007-06-03
0.3
Knocked Up (2006) 4.5/5
2007-06-04 09:43

This movie takes the lamest premise (and title) imaginable (fat, hairy slacker-type accidentally impregnates supermodel-type and they decide to make it work, for the sake of the baby), and somehow manages to turn it into a movie that not only transcends its premise, but transends the entire sex/romantic comedy genre. I mean, every single scene is hilarious, and yet every major character is real, three-dimensional human being. Which just makes it funnier, and more moving, because these things are happening to people, goddamit, not Hollywood joke machines. How fucking awesome is Knocked Up? Very. That's how fucking awesome it is.
2007-06-04
0.3
Shallow Grave (1994) 3.5/5
2007-06-10 10:17

A great 90s-style indie thriller, complete with crazy camera angles, plenty of black comedy and the requisite suitcase full of money. Watching this, I can see why Danny Boyle was hailed at the time as the savior of UK indie cinema: every single scene is at least good, and a few are almost great. Unfortunately, they don't always fit very well together. Characters change personalities to suit the plot, and too much happens offscreen. Still, I love these kinds of films, and if it's not quite as great as Blood Simple, Bound or A Simple Plan, it's not for lack of trying.
2007-06-10
0.3
Hard Candy (2005) 2/5
2007-06-12 00:35

This horror-psycho-thriller is hard to watch, sometimes because it's so intense, and sometimes because it's so damned stagey that it reminded me of Tape, a movie I hated. I'm still not sure if it's a film about revenge and victimization dressed up with extreme violence, or an extreme violence film paying lip service to victimization and its consequences. To be honest, I'm not sure which I'd prefer.
2007-06-12
0.3
Duck Soup (1933) 4.5/5
2007-06-15 23:23

My intellectual hero, Pauline Kael, once said that the Marx brothers were never in a movie as wonderful as they were. But Duck Soup! So. Very. Fucking. Close! A lot of it, I think, is that this is the film that best serves as a scaffold for the brothers to be themselves, without all the romantic subplots and vibrato-heavy musical numbers. Groucho gets to be the ultimate wise-ass, insulting and charming Margaret Dumont in the same sentence. Harpo gets to be an asshole. Chico gets to mangle the English language and confuse various pompous straight men. And Zeppo gets to not sing.
2007-06-15
0.3
Stranger Than Fiction (2006) 4/5
2007-06-15 23:31

I recall seeing trailers for this movie and then... nothing. Until the last few weeks when a couple of different sites I read mentioned it favourably in passing. Very, very rarely -- like, once a decade -- I read a novel in which the characters seem so real that I can completely see them going about their lives and getting into situations the novel doesn't ever get to. This movie is about those characters. (Though the book that the movie is about actually seems kind of lame.)
2007-06-15
0.3
Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle (2004) 3/5
2007-06-17 10:51

Not a great film, but I have a weird fondness for goofy road movies. This one gets surprising milage out of simply having two Asian stoners as the heros and a genuinely funny scene with Neil Patrick Harris as a horny e-tard version of himself.
2007-06-17
0.3
Tony Takitani (2004) 3.5/5
2007-06-23 00:11

I really shouldn't like this movie. It's an adaptation of a short story that's so literal, most of the text of the story is simply recited by an omniscient narrator. In fact, it's really just a version of the story, illustrated in four dimensions. And yet, it won me over. The story is by Haruki Murakami, probably my favourite writer, and the muted, desaturated look of the film perfectly captures the story's tone of loss and regret.
2007-06-23
0.3
Death Wish (1974) 2.5/5
2007-06-24 16:40

Or, "Un justicier dans la ville" in French, which is an awesome name that maybe could have been used for Deathwish 2: Vigilante in the City. Actually, given its crypto-fascist reputation, it is a surprisingly entertaining and effective piece of entertainment, and actually has non-trivial things to say about law and lawlessness. In a way, I think its the ambiguity of the film's attitude that has led to its reputation -- all those westerns about good-guy gunfighters coming into town and killing the bad guys draw far less criticism simply because they depict vigilante justice as an unabashed and unquestionable good. Not that Death Wish as all that complex: all the muggers Charles Bronson kills are clearly bad guys. Though none of them are despicable as the rape-and-murder gang that sets him off in the first place (and whom, interestingly, he never comes close to tracking down or punishing).
2007-06-24
0.3
Joe Versus the Volcano (1990) 3/5
2007-06-28 10:24

This film is much better than you would think from its title. And premise. And its box office results. And critical reputation. And lame 80s-comedy musical montages. And laboured attempts at comedy. And the presence of Meg Ryan. And the fact that Meg Ryan plays three different characters. Not that it's really all that good -- it's just better than all those things would lead you to believe. Which, to be honest, is kind of a minor miracle. Can you imagine how bad it could have been?
2007-06-28
0.3
July, 2007
Rocky (1976) 4/5
2007-07-01 23:37

Rocky is cheap, messy, sentimental, and manipulative. It is also pretty damn effective and totally winning.
2007-07-01
0.3
Groundhog Day (1993) 5/5
2007-07-01 23:49

This may or may not be my all-time favourite movie, but it is my favourite movie of my favourite actor. Bill Murray is this film has to go from smug to egocentric, to confused, to elated, to nihilistic, to suicidal, to resigned, to compassionate, to humble, to serene -- all while playing the same character. And he has to do it all while being funny. This is the kind of movie that makes me happy to be alive, not because it's uplifting, but because it is just so damn brilliant. It is also the original source of my Bill Murray man-crush.
2007-07-01
0.3
Ratatouille (2007) 4/5
2007-07-03 09:46

Another brilliant film from the artistic heavyweight of modern animation, Brad Bird. This doesn't have quite the same kind of complex social commentary Bird's The Incredibles manages to pack in, but the themes -- what is the role of the exceptional person in an egalitarian society? -- are still there, even if Ratatouille doesn't really tackle them head-on. And this is literally the best animation I've ever seen, both technically and artistically. The kitchen, and the food don't look photorealistic: they look better. And the character animation is incredible.
2007-07-03
0.3
Infernal Affairs (2002) 3.5/5
2007-07-05 09:58

This is the Hong Kong crime thriller that The Departed is a remake of. The first time I saw it was in 2004, and I was hopelessly lost in the first fifteen minutes. Seeing The Departed makes this film make more sense, but also kind of diminishes it, since the acting is fairly tame by comparison, and the editing, cinematography and (especially!) the soundtrack are so superior in the Scorcese film. Unfortunately, this makes Infernal Affairs -- which really is an excellent, original film -- seem like a well-executed first-draft effort for the brilliant and more polished The Departed.
2007-07-05
0.3
This Film Is Not Yet Rated (2006) 1/5
2007-07-06 09:48

How can a film with its head stuck so far up its own ass find the room to spend 94 minutes sucking Hollywood's dick? This film is an "expose" of the US MPAA ratings board as made by Kirby Dick, who clearly sees himself as a kind of Hollywood Hipster Asshole version of Michael Moore. Unfortunately, while he's as smug and hypocritical as Moore, he's nowhere near as talented a filmmaker, and all his banner waving about artistic freedom and censorship (the word is repeated roughly 800 times despite the fact the board doesn't censor movies) just comes off as the whiniest type of agitprop. A board member, we are told "lives in this multi-million dollar house" and is a Republican -- this, with a complete lack of irony, following a denunciation of the Hollywood blacklisting of the 1950s. But even a hack like Kirby Dick knows that you can't have a doc with just talking heads, so he hires a team of private investigators to follow ratings board members and go through their garbage. Because apparently, sometimes artistic freedom requires stalking people to teach them a lesson -- certainly, it's no worse than what the MPAA does. Oh, wait: it is. You fucking asshole.
2007-07-06
0.3
Spartan (2004) 3/5
2007-07-08 01:28

I really don't want to say too much about this film because the way to see it is as I did: knowing nothing except that it is a tight, gripping David Mamet thriller. But I will say this: the title is not just a reference to the main character, Val Kilmer's ultra-efficient Ranger. It's also an apt description of how the film is made. There's nothing superflous or showy about it -- it's lean, and it's mean.
2007-07-08
0.3
Lagaan: Once Upon a Time in India (2001) 4/5
2007-07-08 01:30

A four-hour movie about taxes and cricket! And it's freaking awesome! When I retire, I want to go live in a Bollywood movie.
2007-07-08
0.3
Once (2006) 4.5/5
2007-07-12 11:34

Sure, I'm a snarky, borderline-bitter guy whose relationships mostly consist of insecurity and awkward rejection. But deep down, I'm a sappy romantic who likes sad-bastard-style indie pop love songs. Actually, I guess that's not really a contradiction. I will say, though, that while I dig musicals with an enthusiasm unbecoming for an ostensibly hetero man, this is the first time I felt that a musical was made for me. It made me want to move to Dublin and start a band and get a beautiful teenaged Czech musician girlfriend. Maybe after I finish my PhD.
2007-07-12
0.3
Rescue Dawn (2006) 4/5
2007-07-15 17:42

This is a brilliant, thoughful Werner Herzog film with an outstanding performance by Christian Bale as the real-life Dieter Dengler, who was the also the subject of Herzog's incredible documentary, Little Dieter Needs to Fly (on my all-time top 100). So why was it so unsatisfying? When I left the theater, I felt like there was something missing from the film, something I couldn't really explain. Maybe it was the unbroken shot of thousands of aircraft that ends Little Dieter. Or maybe it was that I already know the story, so the events weren't as much of a revelation. I'm going to have to watch it again and see if I have the same reaction.
2007-07-15
0.3
Look Back in Anger (1958) 2/5
2007-07-16 22:46

For a supposed "classic", this is a bad, bad film. So bad, in fact, that it's good, like a Plan 9 from Outer Space of socially-conscious 1950s British cinema. Based on a play respected at the time for its "realism", it combines typically artificial stage writing with an hilariously over-the-top performance by Richard Burton as the middle class-hating "angry young man". Burton's overacting is so extreme, and so sustained that it starts out painful to watch, and then becomes funny, and then becomes a special, painful kind of funny, like watching Ricky Gervais dancing in The Office. Best of all, Burton clearly thinks he's delivering the performance of a lifetime. Which he is, in a grotesque way. God, I hate "serious" theatre. But hey, at least it's better than Tape.
2007-07-16
0.3
Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed (1969) 4/5
2007-07-19 19:39

This, the fifth film in the Hammer Frankenstein series is a thoroughly Gothic tale of blackmail, murder, revenge and unauthorized human brain transplants. And then more murder. I find some of the Hammer horror films to be a bit ponderous, but not this one. It rips right along like a mad scientist on fire, with a scenery-devouring Peter Cushing as the Baron Victor Frankenstein, whose insanity is matched only by his insatiable lust -- a lust for experimental brain surgery! Bwahahahaaaaa! Tasty. Very tasty.
2007-07-19
0.3
Road House (1989) 2.5/5
2007-07-22 15:50

Boobs, bullets, bar fights and a bare-chested Patrick Swayze as a mullet-wearing world-famous bouncer/philosopher. Plus, Ben Gazzara as the oddly wry villain with a monster truck, and enough unintentional hilarity and homoeroticism for any three Joel Schumacher films. Truly, this is the movie with something for everyone. "Pain don't hurt," sayeth the master. No, Patrick, it sure don't.
2007-07-22
0.3
Sholay (1975) 3.5/5
2007-07-24 11:05

This movie seems to be the Bollywood answer to Sergio Leone -- a "curry" western if you will -- about two denim-clad convicts who are hired to defend a town being terrorized by bandits. Of course, it's still Bollywood, which means our anti-heros have hearts of gold and marriage plans and periodically break into song while perched on the handlebars of their (shared) motorcycle. Which is awesome. If the movie has a flaw, it's that it is utterly predictable, but I think I'm going to go ahead and decalre Bollywood movies exempt from this criticism.
2007-07-24
0.3
Curse of the Aztec Mummy (1957) 2.5/5
2007-07-27 23:11

(Thanks to Blim's Evil Film School for screening this "classic" piece of luchadore insanity!) El Ángel is a silver-masked Mexican wrestling superhero, who single-handedly takes on rubber snakes, a portly middle-aged scientist and some inept goons, with the eponymous Aztec mummy mostly around to bat clean-up in the last five minutes of the film. El Ángel wears a mean cape, bounds up stairs three at a time, and wrestles like Esau himself, but somehow manages to repeatedly get captured and forced into the world's lamest death traps. (Escape from one involves rolling his head a few inches to the right, and another requires him to phone a small boy to come over and poke him with a stick while he dangles from a light fixture.) It's all inane, inept and totally entertaining.
2007-07-27
0.3