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Crank: High Voltage (2009)

crank_high_voltage01jpgHow’s this for a premise? Jason Statham falls about a mile from a helicopter and is literally shovelled off the asphalt by Chinese organ thieves who steal his heart for their 100-year-old boss (David Carradine). He wakes up to find he’s been fitted with an artificial heart, and proceeds to tear apart the Los Angeles underworld to get back his “strawberry tart”. Only catch is, to keep going, he needs to constantly charge up by electrocuting himself. I know it sounds like I’m pranking you, but I swear, it’s a real movie. And Jesus, what a movie.

With a premise like that, backed by utter conviction and an understanding of the world apparently formed solely from video games, porn, daytime talk shows and Godzilla movies, Crank: High Voltage delivers… something. I’m not quite sure what it delivers, but it’s something pretty great. You should probably go see it now so that when the inevitable cult forms, you can say you were into it before anyone.

2 Comments

  1. Andy wrote:

    Great short review. Thanks! I love the first one, so this was on my radar in any case. Also am reading that Star Trek is supposedly godlike. Me excited!

    Not sure I like the Haikufactory redesign though. I thought you had one of the coolest looking websites!

    Wednesday, May 6, 2009 at 10:04 am | Permalink
  2. You know, I never saw the first Crank, but I sure as hell will now.

    I liked the old design, too, but it had some bad PHP bugs that were causing problems on the server. The current (stock) theme is still intended to be temporary, but at this point it’ll probably be easier to make a new design than fix the old one.

    Wednesday, May 6, 2009 at 1:04 pm | Permalink